I am puke
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize