dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
