When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Shame - the story of my life.
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