do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
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Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
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I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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