Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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