chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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