I think scott just propositioned me for sex
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
