just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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