And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
