Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
