Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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