ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
