I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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