she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
