these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
