ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I feel like a drive thru vagina
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
