Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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