So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize