never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon