No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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