Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night