We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.