So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
