if i died would you start the facebook group?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
