omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
