whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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