Me too!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
