Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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