My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
