He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
