apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
