Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
