were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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