was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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