I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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