well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
