CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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