Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize