So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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