I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
