i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
