I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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