what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
