It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
