No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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