Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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