we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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