ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh god the rape fog is back!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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