I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
