why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
