I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
