Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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