but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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