he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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