if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize