He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
