Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
