My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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