I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
